The deterioration of our friendship began as soon as the two of them took their friendship to a romantic level. I was instantly excluded from activities we did as friends; I had become a third wheel and was no longer welcome. I was ousted and disregarded in a way that was painfully evident. I was like the old sweater buried deep within a lonely closet.
How could they do this to me? Why would they want to diminish all that we had built? They made me feel the lowest I have ever felt in my life. I immediately went into a period of self pity for I thought I would be lost without our tight-knit companionship. I knew that we would never play the board game Risk again or watch ridiculous movies just to have a good laugh. I believe that sudden loss, most of all, was the source of my sadness.
For weeks I wondered what was so incredibly wrong with me that they did not want me as their friend. I buried myself into a state of depression trying to contemplate the end of our friendship. I did not know how to go on.
Luckily, my mom forced me to realize that I could not dwell over what could have or should have been; I had no choice but to face reality. By doing so, she made me understand that I had to move on, for there truly is no life wallowing in depression and sadness. I knew I could not face the world until I moved on. So, with all my bravery, I began the process of moving on from that friendship.
Now, as I look back, I merely smile, for I know I cannot waste my energy being bitter. I realize now that they did not end the friendship to be cruel or spiteful; we had just simply grown apart. But I think that is something that happens to everyone as they grow older. You figure out who you are and finally open your eyes to notice that people you were once friendly with no longer share similar beliefs. And that is okay. I’ve learned it is one of the steps in the difficult yet rewarding process of growing up and becoming more clearly the person you want to be.
Moving on from them was one of the most terrifying things I have ever had to do as a teenager. But after I did, I was liberated. I started afresh as an independent person, someone who did not continue to cling to friends who no longer wanted my friendship in return. I believe whole-heartedly now that our drifting apart actually saved me. Because of our falling out, I realized that I do not have to count on someone else to ensure happiness in my life; that I am the sole supplier of my happiness. I finally came to know that I did not want to have friends that make me feel depressed. I now have friends who make me feel nothing but happiness. The falling out between my best male and female friend is the most significant experience I have yet encountered in my life because it showed me that I had to find out who I was, and I am proud to say, I did just that, and I found that I like the person I discovered.