I got to thinking about the craziness of life. Let’s be real: some of us are crazier than the rest of us. I would say I’m the former. I don’t necessarily find myself to be conventional; I like to stray from the path and make my own. I don’t handle change well, but I’ve learned to adjust. I go crazy when there’s an ounce of stress in my life. And you know what? That’s simply who I am. Some people never go crazy. What horrible lives they must lead. A little crazy never leads to a boring life. And maybe crazy is the answer to keeping things exciting.


I got to thinking about “Girls.” The HBO show, that is. I was recently watching the season three episode, Free Snacks. Hannah Horvath (portrayed by the wonderfully honest Lena Dunham) gets a job at GQ only to realize that her dreams of becoming a writer might fade with the allure of corporate America and well, free snacks. Hannah’s coworkers, all of whom consider themselves to be writers, have given up on writing creatively. Hannah is outraged and simply cannot understand how writers would give up their dreams so quickly. She doesn’t want this to happen to her. So Hannah sets a schedule. She decides to write every night for three hours. When she arrives home, she quickly falls asleep clutching her laptop like a teddy bear. Will she keep up with her dream? I sure hope so.

It made me wonder, can any of us keep up with our dreams after signing for jobs that keep us in the world of free gym memberships and unlimited Sun Chips? Is the ability to pay rent and eat at nice restaurants more of a draw than our dream? Do we have to give up our dreams? And if we do, are we a sellout, or just practical? I would like to believe that I can keep up with my dream of becoming a novelist while maintaining a career. I’ve always wanted to be a writer: it means more to me than anything. And I’d hope that my life wouldn’t get in the way of that dream. And I hope Hannah can follow that philosophy, too.

To dwell

I got to thinking about dwelling. I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who doesn’t worry. Those happy-go-lucky kinds who go through life without acquiring a wrinkle or an ulcer. And maybe you can become that kind of person; maybe you can’t. I once told someone: “I have to dwell on the inevitable.” And I do. It’s just in my nature. I am too wrapped up in the future sometimes. I want to know what’s going to happen. If I don’t, I dwell on the inevitable. I am eager and unreachable. Is this bad? Well, depends on the type of person you are.