I got to thinking about making it better. Are you unhappy? Is your life not going quite the way you envisioned it would? Do you feel restless, desperate, wishing for something greater? Sometimes I do. I get the feeling. I’m not exactly where I thought I’d be four years ago. And maybe that’s okay. I have time. I can achieve my dreams and goals in due time. But in the meantime, I will strive to make my life better. I’ll do whatever possible to find happiness in the every day. I can make the mundane better. And when I have everything I want, I’ll be grateful for it all.

I got to thinking about standing up for yourself. For what you believe in. How do you make the choice? Is it from your heart? Your head? Maybe the choice you make isn’t the most favorable to the common person, but it’s what you feel is right. And that’s all you have. Your gut. Your heart. Your beliefs. Your beliefs aren’t wrong. You have to make the choice that makes the most sense to you. And sometimes, others just won’t understand. But if you feel, with all your being, that what you’re doing is correct, then that’s enough. Follow your heart. Stand up for what you believe in…. and never regret it.

I got to thinking about pretending. You cannot pretend that nothing happened. You cannot just try to be my friend again after everything that you did. It doesn’t work like that. Maybe I should open my heart and forgive. Maybe I should grow up and be the bigger person. But why? I have no intention of being friends again. And it’s a shame. It’s heartbreaking. I didn’t want it to be this way. We were so close, and I miss you, but I won’t be treated the way you treated me.  And that’s the end of it. It breaks my heart, but I’m moving on. I’m not ready to make nice; I wonder if I’ll ever be.

I got to thinking about flaws. We all go through those days picking apart ourselves: our bodies are too fat, too short; our ears are too big; our arms are too long; we aren’t social enough; we have ugly, frizzy hair. And sometimes, there are things we can work on daily, to be our best selves. But we shouldn’t go through an entire day picking apart everything. That’s when we get into the danger zone of hate. And you should never, under any circumstance, hate who you are. What’s the point of life then?

I’m as guilty as the rest of you. So today, I’ll accept myself, flaws and all, and move on. But I will also work hard to be my best self. And I hope you can, too.

I got to thinking about being certain, certain about who you want to be. How do we know we’re certain? Can we decide? And how do we know we’re correct? Is it a leap of faith? An educated guess? I think that when you decide who you are, when you find yourself, stick with that. It’s a feeling. You have certain thoughts, you have certain opinions. That’s the utmost you. And that’s exactly who you should be every day. Without those thoughts, who are you? Be certain. It doesn’t matter how you get there.

I got to thinking about stress. I’m one of those people who gets stressed out at the drop of a hat. It takes very little to get me worried and anxiety-ridden. And this is a problem. But how to solve it without going to Xanax? Some days, I take a deep breath. Some days, I watch a little television and write. But there are the days that I want to scream. I scream inside, hoping that no one will see right through me. And maybe that solves it for a little while, but I’d like to believe there’s a greater answer to stress in this every-changing world. And if I’m really lucky, I’ll figure it out before my inevitable ulcer.

I got to thinking about what’s hard versus what’s exciting. Are they one of the same? Are the challenging things in life the most exciting? Should we accept the challenge, just to have some excitement in our lives’? Or can we find excitement without the challenge? There are some who can follow the easy path, with a little excitement here and there. And then there are some who have to have the utmost excitement, even if they don’t find it for years, and are willing to take the most difficult path to get it. I am the latter. What are you?

I got to thinking about the point of life. What’s the point of life? To procreate? To find ourselves and make those around us remember our names? To be charitable? I have never fully understand what the point of life is. I would like to say that it’s about love… to find that other person that fully makes you feel whole, to live a life for another. Otherwise, what’s one to do? So I hope you find your soul mate, your perfect other half. There is someone out there for everyone. And we all deserve it. We all deserve to discover the point of life.

I got to thinking about flakiness. The flakiness of people. Does life really get in the way, or do people just flake out because they possess the disastrous quality that is flakiness? I think life gets in the way one time out of ten. Not three times out of four. Life is tough. I get it. Things come up. But there should also be a certain level of respect. You make plans, you keep them. I don’t think I’m flaky, which is quite possibly why I don’t understand those who are. Why do I get flaked on when I don’t flake on others? Shouldn’t there be some sort of karma for these kinds of people?

I got to thinking about this. I am not as concerned about offending people as much as others. Is that bad? Should I care what people think? Should I censor myself and not be brutally honest? Does it hinder my chances of making friends by being honest? I’ve always been an honest, to-the-point person. I am not fake. And sometimes I need to learn this. I don’t hurt people’s feelings, but I do tell them like it is. But I’ve found that being blunt DOES get you what you want; you just have to phrase things politely.