I got to thinking about the escape. We like to escape because there is pressure that outweighs performance; we like to escape because dreaming seems unequivocally sound. But we don’t have to leave everything behind to escape. We can seek out refuge in those things that are important to us. Let the things you love be your escape. It’s one thing to have dreams, goals, but it’s another to find solace in those things. If we escape to those things we’re good at, those things we love, what could go wrong?

“Don’t you ever wonder maybe if you took a left turn instead of a right you could be someone different?”

I really got to thinking about this. In one moment, we can go off course and be someone entirely different. We have this luxury, this choice. But will we take it? Will we go against convention and take a chance on something from the heart? Or will we stray and live the monotonous existence we think is happiness? Will we fight for this chance? Or let it slip away? … We must make the choice…

I got to thinking about cell phones. I don’t particularly like cell phones. In fact, I loathe them most days. Obviously I realize the convenience and necessity of a cell phone, but I don’t have to love those things. The world has become this fast-paced, technology-obsessed place that I can’t quite keep up with. I wouldn’t actually say I would, even if I weren’t so technologically inept. But mostly, I loathe cell phones because they pull us away from those we love. We stare and type and analyze our phones all day, every day. Can we just stop? Can we just put those things down for a small moment in time? I think we can. I think we can make my feelings of detest for cell phones more into ambivalence. Put down the cell phone. Life is happening.

I got to thinking about the third world. As someone who grew up in the wonderful United States of America, I have a skewed perception of what is normal. I find it normal to turn on the lights in the morning, use  a working toilet, and wash my hands in a sink, with cold or hot water, whatever I so choose. That isn’t true everywhere. I have learned this by living in abroad for the last month. During my stay abroad, I experienced the lack of running water, the power turning off and on sporadically, and searching for fresh fruit that isn’t outrageously expensive. This was all so odd to me. Of course, it was good to be exposed to the experience of travel, seeing a country not quite as wealthy as the United States. I learned a lot. But I am a proud American, and more in love with my country than ever.

I got to thinking about knowing. How do you know? Is it something your heart speaks so eloquently… you just fall? Is it something that speaks to your thoughts, your mind? Is it innate? Does it make you question everything? Do you change your life for it, once you know? Or do you stay the same, pushing the idea slowly into the oblivion? I think you just know. It’s something you cannot fight. You cannot tell yourself it’s wrong, even if you walk away. It’s there. And you just know.

I got to thinking about what everybody else thinks. I don’t really care. I never really have. I won’t say that I break the rules often or start an argument with those who don’t see things the way I do, but I also couldn’t care less what everybody else thinks. I have been this way as long as I can remember, doing things the way I see fit. Everyone claims to not worry what everybody else thinks, but I really don’t. Of course I want those whom I love to love me; of course I sought validation as a student, and am still seeking validation as a writer. And as a writer, I’ve had to develop a thick skin. But I know that great things will happen to me someday. I know that my writing is good. And I am not conceited; I am proud of my work. And you know what? I don’t care what everybody else thinks. I care what I think, and that will bring everybody else on board.

I got to thinking about looking for trouble. We avoid situations because we worry it’ll be troublesome. Sometimes we seek out danger just to feel the rush. And sometimes, we look for trouble simply because we are bored. What I have found is that there is a balance of trouble. We shouldn’t seek out danger because there is nothing else.We should seek out those troublesome situations that might garner a payoff.  And if we are so lucky, we might be greeted at the end of the long, winding road with a reward. That’s when you should look for trouble.

I got to thinking about decisions. We have our own minds’. Why do we decide certain things? Is this based on how we were raised? Or simply nature? Is it possible that it’s both? Why are our decisions different? And why can’t we understand that? Making a decision that someone close to us doesn’t agree with sparks arguments, tension. We can’t seem to fathom why this person wouldn’t listen to us. We think they’re idiots, obviously. While they might be idiotic sometimes, most of the time it is just difference of opinion. That’s what keeps things interesting, so I have found.

I got to thinking about taking the long way. I’ve never really been conventional. I’ve never really wanted what my peers around me have wanted. The easy way has almost been non-existent in my life. I take my time and figure out what is best for me. Slowly and carefully. And I’ve made my peace with that. I never seem to do it like everybody else. Quite frankly, I don’t want to be like anybody else. I can take the long way. It may not be the conventional way, or the way those around me expect, but it’s my way. It’s the way that makes me happy; it’s the way that I’ll accomplish all of my dreams. I just know it. Have a little faith in me. I will get there. In due time…. taking the long way.