I got to thinking about homesickness. Leaving home at any age is difficult. And I don’t think it gets any easier. You grow used to your environment at home, and then you’re taken out of it, and everything seems so out of sorts, so odd. There are days when I don’t think I have fully adjusted to life away from my home. That’s a scary thought. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who gets homesick. Being so far from home, I tend to get sad some days. And even though I feel like I’m the only one… it’s totally normal. In fact, it’s a good thing. I’ve come to realize that I have an amazing life back home. But that doesn’t mean I cannot have an amazing life in Los Angeles. Home is where the heart is, but Los Angeles is where the sun is. I have the best of both worlds.

I got to thinking about finding friends. Sometimes we find friends quickly; sometimes it takes years for a friendship to develop. We search for a commonality in our friends, something we can relate to. And when that happens, that’s truly magical. There’s this quote by C.S. Lewis that I love: “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’” I remember meeting one friend who changed my life forever. We have so many similarities. But, we also have differences. And our differences make it interesting. We found each other through a commonality of writing, which is obviously my favorite thing! This friendship was instant, but friendships that begin over time are just as amazing. Remember: our friends make us feel like we aren’t alone in this big world. And what more could you ask for?

I got to thinking about tact. Being tactful. So I’m going to rant about something that happened to me recently. Isn’t tact something you’re supposed to know once you hit a certain age, say twenty? Honesty is good. But being tactful when presenting something is even better. You can frame something awful in the best way possible. You can always bring out the good in the bad. And if you can’t? Well, that’s what constructive criticism is for. No one needs to be told something hurtful without a constructive way to fix it. So this is what I suggest: be tactful. Say what you mean, but in a constructive and kind manner. Why is that so difficult for some people to understand?

I got to thinking about decision. We all make decisions every day. Sometimes these decisions are minor: a hamburger from In-N-Out or a salad from Trader Joe’s? Sometimes these decisions are bigger than food or what to wear. Sometimes these decisions weigh us down. And I can’t help but think that making a wrong decision will change everything.

Will a wrong decision make me regret? Will a wrong decision cause me unnecessary strife and anguish? As a worrier, I believe this is true. But we can’t base our decisions on everything in our lives. We have to choose, whether these decisions are life-altering or not, and hope that we chose correctly. If it turns out that we didn’t choose correctly, then we must move on. You can’t change a decision, as wonderful as that would be sometimes. You have to live with it forever. So don’t stress over it; stress doesn’t solve anything. Trust me, I would know. Just always remember that life is full of decision. Make a decision and stick to it. If it doesn’t turn out exactly as planned, that’s life. Your next decision’s outcome will hopefully turn out better.

I got to thinking about safety. How do we know when we’re safe? Can our safety be taken away at any moment? Are we ever really safe? I’m a big advocate of safety. I always wear my seat belt, bike helmet, and look both ways before crossing the street… to name a few. I like to have control over my own destiny. But can I really control this?

There are times when I believe I’m unsafe. Usually I cannot see beyond this. I cannot live with this lack of control. I despise it. I want to be safe every moment of every day. But that’s not realistic. Anything could happen at any moment. And that scares the hell out of me. I hate to think that things could change, or end, or someone I love could leave, or die. But I’ve also learned that we can’t live our lives’ this way. We must live each day to the fullest, abiding by our own safety rules, and hope that everything will be okay. Most days it will be.

I got to thinking about losing. I guess this goes hand-in-hand with competitiveness. I’ve never been a competitive person. During my childhood soccer games, I would stick out my tongue at other players rather than fight for the ball. As I got older, I grew even more indifferent: running up and down the field to burn off calories rather than try to score goals. In fact, I always preferred that the ball stay away from me.

I recently took second place in a family poker game. This is not normal. I usually don’t make it far in poker because I’m not competitive, nor do I have a poker face or understand the strategy. It was an exciting game that I did end up losing, but somehow came very close to dominating. It was groundbreaking for me. My competitive spirit came alive, which almost never comes out in sports or games. And you know what? I like that.

I got to thinking about fashion. In no way would I describe myself as fashion-forward. I think good fashion can be achieved by adding boots to everything. That’s generally what I do. Leggings, boots, and a casual tee shirt are my staples. Sometimes I wish I was more fashionable. I enjoy reading fashion magazines and looking at designer’s websites, but somehow I cannot seem to complete a look like designers and celebrities do.

If I had to choose a favorite designer, I would choose Chanel. Chanel is timeless and elegant. I’d like to think of myself that way. My goal is to become fashion-forward. Or at least to a certain extent. Fashion is fun and exciting. I want to be a part of that! I want to dress myself like I know what I’m doing, but also adding in a little bit of my own flair. Fashion is black and white, but there is that gray area that I’ve always explored. That gray area is what makes us individuals. Why not show our individualistic nature through fashion?