I got to thinking about decision. We all make decisions every day. Sometimes these decisions are minor: a hamburger from In-N-Out or a salad from Trader Joe’s? Sometimes these decisions are bigger than food or what to wear. Sometimes these decisions weigh us down. And I can’t help but think that making a wrong decision will change everything.

Will a wrong decision make me regret? Will a wrong decision cause me unnecessary strife and anguish? As a worrier, I believe this is true. But we can’t base our decisions on everything in our lives. We have to choose, whether these decisions are life-altering or not, and hope that we chose correctly. If it turns out that we didn’t choose correctly, then we must move on. You can’t change a decision, as wonderful as that would be sometimes. You have to live with it forever. So don’t stress over it; stress doesn’t solve anything. Trust me, I would know. Just always remember that life is full of decision. Make a decision and stick to it. If it doesn’t turn out exactly as planned, that’s life. Your next decision’s outcome will hopefully turn out better.

I got to thinking about safety. How do we know when we’re safe? Can our safety be taken away at any moment? Are we ever really safe? I’m a big advocate of safety. I always wear my seat belt, bike helmet, and look both ways before crossing the street… to name a few. I like to have control over my own destiny. But can I really control this?

There are times when I believe I’m unsafe. Usually I cannot see beyond this. I cannot live with this lack of control. I despise it. I want to be safe every moment of every day. But that’s not realistic. Anything could happen at any moment. And that scares the hell out of me. I hate to think that things could change, or end, or someone I love could leave, or die. But I’ve also learned that we can’t live our lives’ this way. We must live each day to the fullest, abiding by our own safety rules, and hope that everything will be okay. Most days it will be.

I got to thinking about losing. I guess this goes hand-in-hand with competitiveness. I’ve never been a competitive person. During my childhood soccer games, I would stick out my tongue at other players rather than fight for the ball. As I got older, I grew even more indifferent: running up and down the field to burn off calories rather than try to score goals. In fact, I always preferred that the ball stay away from me.

I recently took second place in a family poker game. This is not normal. I usually don’t make it far in poker because I’m not competitive, nor do I have a poker face or understand the strategy. It was an exciting game that I did end up losing, but somehow came very close to dominating. It was groundbreaking for me. My competitive spirit came alive, which almost never comes out in sports or games. And you know what? I like that.

I got to thinking about fashion. In no way would I describe myself as fashion-forward. I think good fashion can be achieved by adding boots to everything. That’s generally what I do. Leggings, boots, and a casual tee shirt are my staples. Sometimes I wish I was more fashionable. I enjoy reading fashion magazines and looking at designer’s websites, but somehow I cannot seem to complete a look like designers and celebrities do.

If I had to choose a favorite designer, I would choose Chanel. Chanel is timeless and elegant. I’d like to think of myself that way. My goal is to become fashion-forward. Or at least to a certain extent. Fashion is fun and exciting. I want to be a part of that! I want to dress myself like I know what I’m doing, but also adding in a little bit of my own flair. Fashion is black and white, but there is that gray area that I’ve always explored. That gray area is what makes us individuals. Why not show our individualistic nature through fashion?

I got to thinking about leap year. Today, after all, is February 29, 2012. It’s always been such a random addition to our calendar, in my personal opinion. Every leap year, I think about those poor children who are born on February 29^th. I assume they have to change their birthday to either the 28^th or the 1^st. I know it seems like such a tiny thing, but I would hate to have to change my birthday. It just seems so odd. But I guess it gives you an excuse to throw a huge celebration every four years. I’m probably the only one who thinks changing their birthday would be weird; thankfully my birthday is in September, in a non-leap year. So… what do you think about leap year?

I got to thinking about coffee. I’m a self-proclaimed caffeine addict. In fact, as I write this, I’m drinking a venti toffee nut latte from Starbucks. I need caffeine in the morning, whether at five or ten. And part of it, I’m sure, is psychological. I need the caffeine in coffee to jump-start my day. But I also think some of it’s necessary. The days I don’t have coffee, I get an all-day, excruciatingly painful headache. It’s basically withdrawal. Some say I’m addicted to caffeine. That’s a decently tame vice that most of us Starbucks-lovers have, I’d say. And I won’t give it up. I won’t give up coffee for Lent, nor will I give up coffee if I’m on a camping trip. I will find that coffee. I will avoid that awful headache. And you know what? I’m okay with that. I’m a coffee addict. And I love it.

I got to thinking about The Vow. You know, that movie with Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum? I just saw this movie. I was intrigued by the fact that it’s based on true events. Real love stories are always the most romantic, anyway. I was impressed by the concept. But it stopped there. This movie had incredible potential, but I ultimately left disappointed. Rachel McAdams, of course, was on her A-game, but the rest of the movie fell flat.

The writing didn’t impress me. A lot of the dialogue was on-the-nose and flat. I cringed during all of the scenes in Channing Tatum’s recording studio. The dialogue here was incredibly forced. I think most writers can recognize this. The movie wasn’t entirely awful, but it could’ve used a couple more edits to make the writing more believable and evoking. What did you think of this movie?

I got to thinking about writers block. All writers are guilty of this from time to time. But is it real? Or is it just a perfectionist’s excuse not to write until they have it all together? I would say it’s the latter. I’m not saying I don’t use this excuse. Sometimes there are days when I just cannot seem to find the right words. So I don’t write. But this is simply avoidance. The perfect words can be edited over time. It’s just important to get some words out, to get those feelings out. We can go back and fix things later. That’s what the editing process is all about! Besides, writing isn’t about perfection. Writing is about self-expression, self-awareness.

I will try to avoid saying I have “writers block.” It doesn’t exist. I cannot avoid perfection, but I can strive for writing what I want in the moment. After all, I write because I love it. And that’s what matters.

I got to thinking about avoidance. Why do we avoid things? Is it easier to avoid something than face it head on? Usually, yes. I’m guilty of avoiding things. I will be the first to admit that. I’ve never been a fan of change. I like things to stay the way they are. That’s the true simple life. But that isn’t how we should live our lives. Facing something head on is way scarier than letting it affect our lives, but it must be done. Ever heard this? … nothing ventured, nothing gained. It’s annoyingly true. We must not avoid things. If we do, we are avoiding life. In order to get the things we want, or to become a stronger person by overcoming something, we must tackle it with grace and confidence. You won’t get anything if you avoid everything. You’ll stay in the same place forever. And what kind of life is that? A boring one.

I got to thinking about family. Some of us are fortunate enough to grow up with loving, healthy families. Some of us are not. Luckily, I fall into the former category. There is nothing more important than family. I never fully understood this growing up. I always loved my family, of course, but I didn’t see how important they were. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized how much my family has done for me. I don’t think I would be the person I am today without them. As those who know me, I freakishly adore my family. I always go home on breaks to be with them. That’s more important to me than a destination spring break. Family matters most. Family is the glue that keeps me grounded. Family gets me through the unbearable times, when I just want to give up. Family is the utmost imperative thing in this life.