I got to thinking about fighting yourself. I fight myself. I have internal battles, more often than I care to admit. Do you? Often? Not so often? Do you question things about yourself? Why am I so angry all the time? Why don’t I care what people think? Why can’t I just smile and not argue even if I know someone is dead wrong? Do you hate yourself in times of strife, maybe even in times of happiness, worried that this person is shameful and maybe just a bit off? And why? Do you think you’re supposed to be a certain way because society, or even just those around you, tell you so?

What if everything you’ve been fighting within yourself is actually how you’re supposed to be? What if the person you know is actually the person you’re supposed to leave? What if you’re not supposed to fight these battles? Maybe these aren’t battles. Maybe this is you. Maybe you should just fight for YOU.

Ponder that.

I got to thinking about being special. We grow up learning that we’re special. We’re unique. There’s no one else out there like us. Then we learn that that really just means we’re like everyone else. Isn’t everyone special, we think. We get complacent, we don’t fight for the things we really want… the things that actually make us special. We conform and act like the non-special adults who comply and never ask for more. But why? Where does that get us? A boring life we’re not impressed with? Does thinking we’re special really vilify us? Why can’t we think we’re special?

So I ask: Are you not an adult if you think you’re special? Are you a selfish child who thinks the world should be handed to him/her if you think this? Or, are you just working toward something that you consider tougher, more rewarding, and when you get it, you think that you’re special? You got everything you ever wanted… because you’re special, and also, lets be honest, quite hardworking and devoted. I choose to believe the latter.

I think I’m special. I am hardworking and devoted to my craft. I have to believe that I am special. It’s what gets me through life. And maybe that makes me less of an adult. But, honestly, I couldn’t care less. Be you. Be special, and achieve those things only “special” people can.

I got to thinking about magic. Do you believe in magic? Do you believe in miracles? Sure, most of my generation believes in the magic of “Harry Potter” and we’re all still waiting for our Hogwarts letters (I still consider myself to be a Slytherin nonetheless), but I don’t exactly mean that. I mean the kind of magic that exists every day, the miracles we read about online or hear about from friends. This kind of magic makes you believe in something greater than yourself. And isn’t that what we all want, what we’re all searching desperately for? What magical stories have you heard lately? What have you witnessed in your life that astounds you? Share it. Believe it. Keep it.

If you don’t believe in magic just yet… look at the stars. Just look up. Think about how small you are, how vast the universe is. And if you don’t believe in magic then, well, I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe believing is innate. Those of us lucky enough to have that belief are certainly lucky enough.

I have some news… Please find my bio on #TouchPointPress. Please look for more to come in the following months!

https://touchpointpress.com/authors/caroline-a-dejong/

I got to thinking about anticipation. We have a vacation planned and just cannot wait one second longer for it to begin. We’re excited for [insert] and just cannot stand the suspense. And it’s an amazing feeling to be excited about something. It makes the clouds seem to slip away just a bit, as you’re just too excited! But… What if anticipation is better than life itself? Hear me out.

Sometimes I worry that my excitement for events, people, places is greater than the actual day(s) I’m supposed to be excited about. Is that normal? Am I doing something wrong? Do I let such an immense anticipation take over and forgot to actually enjoy whatever I’ve been looking forward to? Conversely, I would argue that maybe that’s okay. Maybe it’s good to anticipate things and that anticipation be better than the actual “thing.” We need to look forward to the future. Sometimes this helps us get through a troubling present, a tough day at work, or an obstacle we’re going through. Maybe we can enjoy the present with this anticipation, this giddy excitement. Do you think so?

I got to thinking about disappointment. More disappointment. It sometimes feels like life is a ride of disappointment, with a few waves of happiness sprinkled in there. Or maybe that’s just me being cynical again.

Recently, I’ve had to deal with more disappointment. And while I ultimately feel liberated and freed, it’s heartbreaking. I have to start over. Again. Part of me wants to give up and go to Plan B, even though Plan B is less than desirable. But the other part of me wants to try again. And again. Until I get what I want. I’ve never wanted anything more in my entire life than to be a true, published writer. My heart aches for it. I cannot let my heart break into a million pieces and give up. I cannot! I will not. Maybe this disappointment will lead me into a wave of happiness. I have to believe so. So here I go, into another journey forward, to hopefully find that my dreams can come true.

#NeverGiveUp

I got to thinking about changing my name. You know, after marriage. To my future husband’s last name. I see girls I know getting married all around me, changing their names immediately on facebook. I think it’s safe to assume that they’re changing their last names in the eyes of the law as soon as possible, too. Sometimes they tack on their new name to their old name. But they’re adding the new name nonetheless. And I wonder what their fathers think when they see their daughter’s new name in print: are they happy for her? Ambivalent? Slightly sad? Do they think they’ve lost (or halted) their family lineage in a small way? What exactly does changing a last name do to a family? Or does it do anything at all? I can’t seem to come up with an answer. But I do know that it’s rare to find a girl who does not participate in this tradition.

A bit of a contrarian (the nickname my father gave me as young child), I’ve never been keen on this tradition. In fact, I have no plans of changing my name. Sure, I might just be lazy and don’t want to become a herded sheep in an exasperatingly long Social Security line. That’s absolutely part of it. However, I simply like my last name. It’s the last name of my father and my late Opa. I like that piece of them; I like my Dutch heritage. This name is a part of me and I cannot imagine letting it go. Why should I have to change my name merely because society says so? Why can’t I be one of the few women who keeps it? Well, I intend to do so. This is no disrespect to my future husband; this is merely a choice that is right for me. I want to be a DeJong. And I can still be part of my husband and his family without taking his name.

“One person to think you’re cool and you’re in. The others will be too scared to question it.” – Never Been Kissed

I got to thinking about this quote. I hear it a lot in my head. And it’s true. Have you noticed? It only takes one person to think that someone (or something) is great and it’s a hit; it’s cool. You just need to find that someone who thinks you’re worthy of this elusive thing called “cool.”

Thus, I got to thinking more about my writing. It only takes that one person who can launch it into a success. But how do you find that? Is it through knowing the right people? Doing the right marketing? Having the right platform? Or is it time and place… pure luck? Can my writing be “cool” just based on luck? Can luck lead me to the endorser who will solicit my book to their followers? How can I seek out this “cool” factor? Will I ever get it? Please tell me yes. It is my hope and my dream. And for once in my life, I’d like someone to think I’m cool. Maybe then, I can actually tell you “how to be cool.” 😉