I got to thinking about summer. There’s something magical about the summer season. This was the season I looked forward to most as a child. I was free from the boredom of school, the incredible amount of rain that winter and spring always brings, and I finally could enjoy some delicious fruit. I still love summer. Living in Los Angeles, summer is definitely less exciting, given the sunny and warm nature of the city year-round. The fascination with summer, though, will never cease. It is the season of weddings, tank tops, and swimming in the nearest lake. My favorite part about summer? That feeling at dusk when the air is still warm and a jacket isn’t necessary. That’s what makes summer truly memorable and lovely.

I got to thinking about distance versus silence. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that there isn’t a difference. There’s a huge difference. Distance is difficult. The feeling of being separated from those you love, for whatever reason, makes us stronger. Distance can give us clarity and confidence; distance can show us where we belong. But most of all, distance always brings
us back. Silence, however, is a demon in itself. Silence begins when we let go of someone or something. We separate ourselves to make things better. Sometimes we do not choose this silence, though. Silence ceases all things, changes all things. With distance, we can always go back. But with silence, we are changed forever. The moral of the story: don’t confuse distance with silence. Silence wreaks havoc upon all of our relationships; distance forces us to realize what we want.

I got to thinking about life experiences. Do we not have enough life experience until we are in
old age? At what point in life can say that our life experiences have made us who we are, have
defined us? Or can we ever? Must we go through something traumatic in order to garner life
experiences? Can those who live charmed and sheltered lives ever gain true life experience? I
am under the firm notion that life experience is based on how we see the world, what we do with
our time here. We do not need to be middle aged to understand the world. We must observe and
watch and write it all down. Seeing the world through others can be just as impacting.

I got to thinking about the day’s cards. This expression was recently said to me. The day’s cards
are loosely related to fate. Sometimes the day’s cards hold for us something spectacular, like
winning something we hadn’t expected. But sometimes the day’s cards give us a flat tire, or bad
news about a family member. We cannot predict the day’s cards. We cannot change the cards.
But we shouldn’t fear them, either, for if we fear the day’s cards the best of us will be gone
forever. Don’t let the day’s cards, the unpredictability of life, get in the way of happiness. Fate
will lead us to where we should be, anyway.

I got to thinking about decision. We make decisions every day, minor as well as life-changing. Sometimes, though, we would rather avoid something than make a decision. But what we don’t realize is that not making a decision is making a decision in itself. Why not control what little we can control in this life? If we choose to not make a decision, we are choosing to not intervene. But we must. It’s easy to intervene in our friends’ lives, but somehow, intervening in our own is a difficult feat. However, if we do not, we are giving away any kind of choice we have. So celebrate your choices. Make a decision.

I got to thinking about “thinspiration.” I cannot classify that as a real word. After hearing news that Kate Upton, the beautiful, slightly curvaceous (curvy to the industry’s ridiculous standards) model is “fat.” The blog, Skinny Gossip, claims that Kate Upton is “piggy.” So I had to rant.

These so-called “thinspiration” blogs make me mad. No, they make me disappointed. The industry has changed its ideal form of beauty in the last decade or so. If you’ve ever watched the original Beverly Hills 90210 (no not the crappy CW version), you’ve seen how the sizes of actresses have changed. Jennie Garth wasn’t rail thin, and certainly looked normal, and she was the queen bee.

So what has changed in the last ten years? I’d like to give the credit to pro-anorexia blogs. But I think it’s more about perception of self. If we stopped and looked at ourselves in the mirror occasionally, without judgment, we would see something beautiful. But that comes with acceptance. It isn’t necessary to be rail thin. In fact, I would argue that it takes much more courage to flaunt a body that isn’t just flesh and bone. And when you can do that, whatever size you are, that is when you’ll find your confidence, your sense of self. And those are the people we should celebrate. End of rant.

I got to thinking about the place where I am free. This is a place others may not always understand. This is my special place. And we all have one. Sometimes it takes us years to find this place. If we are so lucky, we will find this place as children. And we will keep it. We will fight for it. We won’t ever give it up. That shows our bravery, our courage.

For me, this place is buried deep within my soul. This is the place where my thoughts are examined, where my heart understands my head, and where my full identity can come out. And I was lucky enough to find this place as a child. I knew I loved storytelling from the days of playing Barbies. As a writer, like with any career, there are obstacles I will have to endure. But the end goal is way too spectacular to give up: to be called a published writer. And it’s not just the goal that matters; the journey should be celebrated. After all, this is the place where I am free.

I got to thinking about being young. Youth is wasted on the young, let’s be real. We don’t realize how spectacular and simple our childhoods are until it’s over. We take being young for granted. As for myself, I’ve always been an old soul, but I somehow cannot seem to get over the fact that my childhood is over. Why did I complain about it? How charmed, it was. And now, here I am, wishing to turn back the clock. But we cannot turn back time. And I honestly believe that is one of the scariest things about growing up. We realize that being young was a perfect moment in time that’ll never occur again. But if we’re so lucky, we may someday experience that youthfulness again. That’s what families are for.

I got to thinking about endings. You’ve all heard the saying: when one chapter closes, another one begins. We must finish one chapter to start another. Sometimes, though, we don’t want to close a chapter to begin the new one. I’ve had wonderful experiences in my life that I didn’t ever want to end. It was heartbreaking moving on, but somehow, I made it through. Then there are those experiences we all wish would end. And fast. We want to begin anew. But what I’ve realized recently is that we cannot rush things. Time is the same for good and bad experiences. We must learn from our bad experiences and savor deeply our good experiences. After all, there’s always going to be another spectacular chapter waiting for us.

I got to thinking about fate. Is everything already planned out for us? Do we have choices? Make choices? Want choices? Should we take the path that’s offered and hold on tight? Or should we walk where there isn’t a path and follow our hearts? Or do our hearts have our best intentions already, leading us to the end of the road? But maybe, just maybe, there is a bend in the road. We have to decide. Will we follow our fate? Or will we change direction, just for a moment, or for a lifetime, to see what is around the bend? Is that what life is about?