I got to thinking about the dreams of children. I know that children dream of becoming ballerinas, astronauts, actors, and the like. I know this because I told my parents at age five that I was going to be an artist. This was never attainable, given that my stick figures need serious work. But at age eleven, I knew I was going to be a writer. And I haven’t wavered. I know that being a writer is also a child’s dream, but that’s how I know it is real. It’s what I’ve wanted to do before I was cynical, before I was afraid of failing. The innocence of my dream is utterly real and cannot be denied. While becoming a writer isn’t an easy thing, it is my dream. It has been for twelve years. That has to stand for something, right? I sure think so.

I got to thinking about the craziness of life. Let’s be real: some of us are crazier than the rest of us. I would say I’m the former. I don’t necessarily find myself to be conventional; I like to stray from the path and make my own. I don’t handle change well, but I’ve learned to adjust. I go crazy when there’s an ounce of stress in my life. And you know what? That’s simply who I am. Some people never go crazy. What horrible lives they must lead. A little crazy never leads to a boring life. And maybe crazy is the answer to keeping things exciting.

I got to thinking about “Girls.” The HBO show, that is. I was recently watching the season three episode, Free Snacks. Hannah Horvath (portrayed by the wonderfully honest Lena Dunham) gets a job at GQ only to realize that her dreams of becoming a writer might fade with the allure of corporate America and well, free snacks. Hannah’s coworkers, all of whom consider themselves to be writers, have given up on writing creatively. Hannah is outraged and simply cannot understand how writers would give up their dreams so quickly. She doesn’t want this to happen to her. So Hannah sets a schedule. She decides to write every night for three hours. When she arrives home, she quickly falls asleep clutching her laptop like a teddy bear. Will she keep up with her dream? I sure hope so.

It made me wonder, can any of us keep up with our dreams after signing for jobs that keep us in the world of free gym memberships and unlimited Sun Chips? Is the ability to pay rent and eat at nice restaurants more of a draw than our dream? Do we have to give up our dreams? And if we do, are we a sellout, or just practical? I would like to believe that I can keep up with my dream of becoming a novelist while maintaining a career. I’ve always wanted to be a writer: it means more to me than anything. And I’d hope that my life wouldn’t get in the way of that dream. And I hope Hannah can follow that philosophy, too.

I got to thinking about dwelling. I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who doesn’t worry. Those happy-go-lucky kinds who go through life without acquiring a wrinkle or an ulcer. And maybe you can become that kind of person; maybe you can’t. I once told someone: “I have to dwell on the inevitable.” And I do. It’s just in my nature. I am too wrapped up in the future sometimes. I want to know what’s going to happen. If I don’t, I dwell on the inevitable. I am eager and unreachable. Is this bad? Well, depends on the type of person you are.

I got to thinking about animals. I’ve always been fond of animals; the zoo was a second-rate Disneyland for me as a child. Let’s be real: it still is. Unfortunately, the only animals I’ve called pets are fish and mice, neither of whom I’ve been enthralled about. But my love of animals has ingrained a deep protection for animals, especially those who are killed to be eat. This is why I’ve always considered being a vegetarian, maybe even a vegan. I haven’t quite made it there yet, given that my love for steak and hamburgers is like the moth to the flame, but I find myself becoming more and more repulsed by animal products, at least once I think about what I’m eating. It may not become a reality in the near future, but I think that cutting back on animal products will serve me well. At least, it makes me feel better.

I got to thinking about love. “Never love anybody who treats you like you’re ordinary.” Oscar Wilde said that. I like this because it’s how I’ve always felt about love. I always told myself never to settle, never to tell myself that “this” is enough. Because it isn’t. Ever. How do you feel about love? Do you think that you should live the life of a princess or prince?  You should. And if that isn’t where you are, find it. Trust me, you’ll regret settling for anything and anyone less.

I got to thinking about the escape. We like to escape because there is pressure that outweighs performance; we like to escape because dreaming seems unequivocally sound. But we don’t have to leave everything behind to escape. We can seek out refuge in those things that are important to us. Let the things you love be your escape. It’s one thing to have dreams, goals, but it’s another to find solace in those things. If we escape to those things we’re good at, those things we love, what could go wrong?

“Don’t you ever wonder maybe if you took a left turn instead of a right you could be someone different?”

I really got to thinking about this. In one moment, we can go off course and be someone entirely different. We have this luxury, this choice. But will we take it? Will we go against convention and take a chance on something from the heart? Or will we stray and live the monotonous existence we think is happiness? Will we fight for this chance? Or let it slip away? … We must make the choice…

I got to thinking about cell phones. I don’t particularly like cell phones. In fact, I loathe them most days. Obviously I realize the convenience and necessity of a cell phone, but I don’t have to love those things. The world has become this fast-paced, technology-obsessed place that I can’t quite keep up with. I wouldn’t actually say I would, even if I weren’t so technologically inept. But mostly, I loathe cell phones because they pull us away from those we love. We stare and type and analyze our phones all day, every day. Can we just stop? Can we just put those things down for a small moment in time? I think we can. I think we can make my feelings of detest for cell phones more into ambivalence. Put down the cell phone. Life is happening.

I got to thinking about the third world. As someone who grew up in the wonderful United States of America, I have a skewed perception of what is normal. I find it normal to turn on the lights in the morning, use  a working toilet, and wash my hands in a sink, with cold or hot water, whatever I so choose. That isn’t true everywhere. I have learned this by living in abroad for the last month. During my stay abroad, I experienced the lack of running water, the power turning off and on sporadically, and searching for fresh fruit that isn’t outrageously expensive. This was all so odd to me. Of course, it was good to be exposed to the experience of travel, seeing a country not quite as wealthy as the United States. I learned a lot. But I am a proud American, and more in love with my country than ever.