I got to thinking about optimism. How am I going to be an optimist about this? How can I look for the silver lining? I don’t see it; I don’t expect to see it. And what if I can’t ever see clearly again? What am I going to do? It will change my life. And I don’t need that. I can’t handle it. I’ve been here before. I won’t go down that road again. How am I going to be an optimist about this?