Never giving up

My debut novel came out this month, “A Lovestruck Freshman.” It is book one in my “These Four Years” series. I am so proud of it. While it’s unnerving to share my writer self with the world, exposing my deepest thoughts and darkest observations, I am so excited. This is my dream! I never gave up on it. I persevered through rejection after rejection. I couldn’t give up; that was not an option. And look where I am now because of this attitude? I’d like you all to think about your lives’. What do you want? Reach for it. Clench it. Don’t ever let it go. Ever. You’ll be rewarded for it.

My Novel is Out!

My debut novel, “A Lovestruck Freshman: These Four Years Book 1” is now available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and iTunes! I look forward to your thoughts. Enjoy 🙂

http://www.amazon.com/Lovestruck-Freshman-These-Four-Years/dp/1513705628/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1450398653&sr=1-1

Just Say Sorry

I got to thinking about “sorry.” It’s one simple word that means so much; it’s one simple word that can change almost anything. But for some reason, most of us are too proud to say it. What is that about? Why are we so hurtful to our fellow humans? I was recently very hurt by someone. Someone else close to me stood up for me like my knight in shining armor and asked her to apologize. She did not. Instead, she denied it happened. And maybe she doesn’t remember saying that hurtful thing to me. Maybe she’s too proud to apologize. I honestly don’t know. But what I do know: I remember it. I know she said it. And it tremendously hurt my feelings. All I wanted was an “I’m sorry.” That’s it. Is that too much to ask? Am I being unreasonable? Of course, I don’t see it that way. And sure, you can call me bias. That’s fine. But I just hope to get an apology sooner rather than later. What she said was untrue and disrespectful and it really hurt me. I can forgive that moment of hurt, but I just want to hear an apology. Simple as that. Let this be a lesson: Don’t be too proud. Always say you’re sorry. It’s the only thing that matters.

You aren’t self-centered for going after your dreams

I got to thinking about self-centeredness. Someone recently told me that I was self-centered. Not a stranger, someone close to. And you know what? It really hurt my feelings. Like, really, really hurt my feelings. Why would this person think that? I spend plenty of time devoting myself to others, but I also have “me” time. And shouldn’t I? Shouldn’t everyone? I am twenty-five years old; I don’t have children to worry about and I am unmarried. Why can’t I devote time to myself? This person who told me this made it seem like I was self-centered because I was focused on my career. Yes, I want to be a writer. It’s been my dream since age 11. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I work damn hard every day to make this dream come true. That absolutely does not make me self-centered. That is driven.

 

So why didn’t this person understand the difference? I am not quite sure. But I hope this person does now. I am not self-centered because I don’t want to have a family immediately. I am not self-centered because I want to follow my dreams. I have to work hard every day, and if that means putting other things on hold for a while, so be it. But I am not self-centered because of it. Do not ever tell a hard-working person he/she is selfish because you don’t understand their goals. That is awful. And just disrespectful.

 

Follow your heart, always, be a good person, and don’t let naysayers get you down. That will just crush your dreams. You know what’s right. Just ignore that noise. It takes practice, but you can do it.

Just checking in…

Hello readers. I am checking in. I’ve been away for quite some time for a reason I hope you’ll understand. My first novel, “These Four Years: Freshman Year” is scheduled to be released this December. It’s been quite the long and arduous process getting it ready, but I am so excited. There’s no better feeling than this. I am a Booktrope author and hope that you’ll buy it, on Amazon, Kindle, Barnes & Noble! More details coming soon. Thanks for reading, as always.

Heroic

I got to thinking about heroism. What makes you a hero? Is it an act? Does it have to be unselfish? And who can proclaim that you’re a hero? Can you? Would you let yourself be a hero? Or would you just brush it off and step out of the spotlight? Could I be heroic if need be? Would I step up? Would you? If I didn’t, does that make me the anti-hero? Or simply, a coward? I think being heroic is brave, stressful. But I do believe that we all could step up if need be. We all have the ability to be heroic. We just have to find it in ourselves. So find it. And when you’re in a situation that forces you to be heroic, take it. That’s how life is lived.

Ambition

I got to thinking about ambition. What does ambition mean? What does ambition look like? I always thought ambition was about going after what you want. Ambition is doing the best possible thing for yourself, and fighting for it every day. Do you have to work a desk job, or something society recognizes as conventional, to be ambitious? Does it mean you’re not ambitious if you don’t want a conventional desk job? I think people look at me, as an aspiring writer, and think, ‘that’s nice.’ They don’t think I have ambition. But they’re wrong. I work hard almost every day, fighting to be a writer, for that’s the only way my dream will come true. I’ve probably been through deeper waters than the average person. I’ve been rejected and tortured and so down on myself. But I haven’t given up. You know why? I have ambition. Just because I don’t want a traditional job doesn’t mean I’m not ambitious. And I won’t let anyone EVER tell me I’m not ambitious because I don’t have the same goals as the rest of society.

Sleep all the time

I got to thinking about sleep. There are those who believe sleep is for the weak, a waste of time if over five hours a night. There are also those who believe sleep is the most luxurious, wonderful part of the day. I’m proudly part of the latter group. I relish sleep. There’s nothing more satisfying than lying your head on a pillow after a long day. Sleep replenishes stamina and ability to get through a long day. How could that be a waste of time? Studies I’ve read over the years as a hypochondriac say that most adults need 7 to 8 hours each night. Go read a study if you don’t believe me! In addition to that medical information WedMD spouts, sleep is a place to dream. Dreams capture your true self, and how could that be unproductive? Dreams allow us to escape to a place we wouldn’t otherwise; dreams make us believe in the future. That’s not a waste of life. Go sleep; sleep for hours. And savor every minute. Sleep is worth everything.

My Red Card

I got to thinking about getting in trouble. I’ve always been afraid of getting in trouble, doing the wrong thing. I am notoriously into rules and following authority. In elementary school, there were yellow cards and red cards. My goody-two-shoes nature helped me stray from the card system. I couldn’t face the humiliation of getting in trouble. While that certainly isn’t a bad thing, it also gets in the way of every day things that happen without warning. What am I talking about? Cavities.

I always thought that people who got cavities didn’t take care of their teeth. I’m obsessed with my straight (created by the miracle that are braces) teeth. I work hard to keep my chompers clean and white. I follow every rule WebMD has on preventing cavities. And guess what? My worst nightmare came true: I have a cavity. I feel like I just got a red card by my fifth grade teacher. I did something bad. How could I do this to myself? Could I have prevented it? Probably not. I really did do everything right. It’s just inevitable for most of us. But I never wanted to be ‘most of us.’ That’s another nightmare. Regularity is boring and just not for me. And here I am: REGULAR. I blame myself for this cavity. To be honest, I want to cry my eyes out when I think of what I’ve done. I got in trouble by the dentist. And I can’t go back. This red card is following me for the rest of my life…